The H’s of Healing for World Cancer Day and beyond….
Patrick after a radiotherapy scan with the 2 UCLH radiologists
World Cancer Day
My mind has been whirling since I saw this date approaching. So many thoughts, emotions, questions, and memories rise to the surface. Maybe you're feeling the same? I posted out on LinkedIn and got some lovely responses. You can read it HERE. But you can also read it here on the post!
My work goal is to support anyone touched by cancer, and other mental experiences - whether directly, through a loved one, or even in passing. I often say to other people this phrase below and we both agree - do you?
““We are members of the same club that no one wants to be in.””
In July 2017, I was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, stage 4, malignant. I had no idea what this truly meant at the time:
"Terminal" means incurable.
"Stage 4" is the highest classification.
"Malignant" means the cancer was aggressive and spreading fast.
I had become a statistic, diagnosed with one of the biggest cancer killers of anyone under 40.
Even now, as I write this, I feel my whole wellbeing shift:
Physically: a deep sensation in my gut.
Mentally: my mind racing faster than my fingers can type, as well as of feelings of guilt.
Spiritually: my heart whispering thanks to a faith that has carried me through.
I know my words might evoke different reactions. Some may connect, others may not, and that’s okay. If this doesn’t resonate, I ask only for patience, seeing another perspective and understanding.
I am in remission. I feel so privileged and lucky to write this word.
Through my experience—and my work in mental health—I’ve developed what I call:
The H’s of Healing
One of the key people in my journey has been a healer—not in a mystical sense, but simply someone who listens, guides, and helps me process my story. Together, we explore all aspects of wellbeing. Cancer is my story but in my talks there are relevant for any moment of life where we need to be healed.
The first steps I took were:
1. Honesty
I didn’t want to ask for help. I was running my own business, preparing to go on a summer holiday with my young family. From the first symptoms to my hospital admission, I had four weeks where I convinced myself it was nothing.
2. Humility
When I finally did ask for help, it wasn’t easy. I struggled with the ‘alpha male’ mindset—feeling like I should handle things alone. But I had to admit that I couldn’t.
3. Hearing
I had to listen—to doctors, specialists, and people who had been through similar experiences. I wasn’t the expert. I had to learn to ask the right questions and truly absorb the answers, even when they were hard to hear.
This guided my wellbeing to look outside myself:
4. Hope
Hope came from conversations—with my local vicar (now a close friend), my family, my medical team. I began to believe that I was more than a statistic. I was Patrick Melville.
5. Help
I found resources and people who supported me. I underwent a brain operation, 6 weeks radiotherapy and two years of chemotherapy. I was privileged to receive this care, and I never take it for granted. I still see my oncologist to check up and speak to my healer. I don’t mind asking for help as I honest and humble to hear tips.
6. Happiness
I learned to appreciate the now. The warmth of sunlight; driving in the slow lane (I had to give up my license); a simple hospital breakfast or being in a noisy MRI scanner. My wife sitting next to me and my kids in the car. These moments are everything and mean more when I make the effort.
7. Heart
My experience changed my entire sense of wellbeing. But my heart? It keeps moving forward—not by forgetting by carrying my journey with me. I am not a statistic. Neither are you.
Summary
I hope that you find some of my story and article useful. Perhaps you can take a moment today, wherever you are, to (try to) appreciate your now. Then move on. I do when I can and need to remind myself!
And if you can, offer time to appreciate someone else. It’s free, and it goes straight to the heart. I offer my time and always get more back than I realise.
Feel free to get in touch and share my story - I am willing to speak to another "member".
Wishing you a safe and healthy journey into 2025.