Surrender ≠ Fear - Melville Solutions
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Surrender ≠ Fear

15 Jul Surrender ≠ Fear

In July 2019, Patrick went to one of the strongest Mental Health and Wellbeing festivals called the Trew Fields Festival (  It was originally set up a few years ago around the theme of ‘cancer’. It was founded by the inspirational Sophie Trew and focused to educate patients and all those involved with them of the methods to deal with this life journey.  Since then, it has naturally evolved to cover a wide range of illnesses in mental, physical and spiritual health.

These are relevant for everyone and at all stages in life.  I attended some talks and I was particular enthused by a panel talk including Sophie Sabbage, the inspirational coach and author.

I want to share some of the key outakes:

Surrender to life

This is a good example of how we are learning the real definitions of illness and health as a society. Surrendering to what is happening is your life will help you to accept that you don’t have control for everything in your life.  My diagnosis in 2017 of a malignant, Stage 4 brain tumour brought the one guarantee in our lives right in front of my face: I will die, one day.  I can’t say I am fully ok with this but I am getting closer to accepting it.  As you read this, it might send a physical or mental shiver down your spine…………that is ok.  It is normal.

Surrenerding helps us to accept what is happening and it brings us back to life. I am happier now than 2 years ago – strange to say it, but by surrendering to life it drives the ‘Now’ in my mind and helps me realise my priorities.

Surrender example: I find that in social events, I don’t have to talk to everyone. I don’t feel guilty when I stop my conversation with someone and say that I am going to speak to someone else (in a polite way!).

Surrendering allows us to take hold of fear; otherwise fear will take hold of us.

Surrender ≠ Give up

Don’t always believe your mind

Your mind can’t distinguish between the ‘real’ and imagination.  If you let your mind dictate your decisions and future it will take over and not help your mental health.  You need to ‘tell’ your mind that it cannot predict the future.   A way to control your mind is to ‘visualise’ the future. I have been learning to do this with my cancer journey.

Don’t believe your mind example – my diagnosis was not good. I had to calm my mind by visualising my future – ‘I will be in my 70s, with grandkids, playing golf……’

Be kind

In my Wellbeing and Mental Workshop workshops I talk about choosing 3 points of Gratitude it helps us focus on the good points of our day.  Our mind tends to focus on the bad events of the day and forget the good points.

On Monday 8th July, I saw my oncologist for a review of my tumour from a scan the week before. He told me that I am in remission. I don’t have a tumour in my brain! I lived and loved the ‘Now’ by celebrating with a pan de queijo – I recommend it!

Be kind example, and one of my 3 points Gratitude for the day: Thank you for reading, liking, sharing this…..

Get in touch if you want to know more or perhaps get into your business to run a workshop….

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